An Algorithm for Receiving Feedback

There is a lot written about how to give feedback.

Less so about receiving it.

When I was younger I would often argue, push back, deflect. Especially if I thought (or knew!) the other person was wrong. What did this strategy get me?

Anger, from two people (me and the feedback giver). No growth.

When a person gives you feedback about one concern (the thing they want to give you feedback about), and you instantly reject or argue, they end the conversation with two concerns (the thing they want to give you feedback about, and the problem of you not listening).

Then they are less inclined to give you feedback in the future.

Now that I’ve watched thousands of residents and students receive feedback, I realize the best response is to say: Thank-you!

After this, you have several choices. You can adopt (growth opportunity!), explore (growth opportunity!), or reject (not so much growth!). It’s up to you. But no matter what you choose after you say Thank-you, the person who gave you feedback is likely to think better of you than if you had argued.

Because you listened to them.

A much better narrative than the opposite.

Below is an algorithm for receiving feedback. Which pathways have the best options? Why do we take pathways that don’t?